用英语怎么说最近已经习惯了一个人过着一个人的生活,一个人独来独往,不知道是因为什么,也许是因为他,或者是看透了这个世界的

用英语怎么说
最近已经习惯了一个人过着一个人的生活,一个人独来独往,不知道是因为什么,也许是因为他,或者是看透了这个世界的人情冷漠,迷茫无边.是害怕,也是逃避.早已失去了追求快乐的勇气,而今,又很难去找回.快乐和寂寞这两个概念,就像是两个世界.一个是充满阳光的世界,一个是充满黑暗的世界.而我就是黑暗中的一员,寂寞的人更会了解寂寞的人,彼此在黑暗中摸索着对方,因为用心最能了解一个人.因为,黑暗中看到的不是表面的笑容,是用心和心去沟通的.去感受,去聆听.而阳光世界和我是两个世界的人.当我在黑暗中努力的去寻找通往阳光世界的路,丢掉身上所有的包袱,当我看到阳光的那一刻,我害怕了,那耀眼的阳光刺得我好痛,于是我退缩了.终于明白,快乐不属于我,而我永远只得呆在黑暗的一边,再也不会去尝试,再去找寻快乐,因为,我听到过有人说：不属于自己的东西不用再伤痕累累的去追求.我信了.
我开始堕落,我不再去在乎身边的人,不懂得去理解宽恕别人.不再费着脑子去想这想那,不再去管事情的好坏.以为看透了一切.不用为了那些烦恼的事情去费脑筋,一切顺其自然,以为这样自己能快乐,把别人好话坏话都丢在一边,做自己想做的事情,不去追求,不去珍惜,每天都是上班下班,过着两点一线的生活,呵呵,这样幸福吗?我没感觉到.慢慢的我发现我错了.错得一踏糊涂.这让我失去了一切,本来属于自己的东西也没了.一无所有.只有自己一个人.现在自己身边一些朋友也离开我了,呵,是啊,我不应该感到可惜,我知道,他们不是我真正的朋友.
我的心里有着别人看不到的泪,一点一点的侵蚀着我脆弱的心,腐蚀了我的希望.我开始封闭了自己,因为我已经习惯了寂寞,习惯了!我寂寞,我软弱,我永远不成熟,没有能力,怀疑自己,我几乎成我每天要做的事,胡思乱想,是为了让自己的心永远不停歇?还是永远停不下来.我几乎没法控制自己.没法控制自己的思想,神经错乱,一切乱了方向.像一架找不到机声降落的飞机,等着堕落,堕毁.我因寂寞而失支了方向,因寂寞而堕落,因寂寞而失却了一切,一切的美好,难道不属于我,寂寞啊,你为什么要让我爱上你,为什么……为什么要让我爱得无法自拔.让我爱得失去了方向……
终于一样一样的压抑着我,一样一样的侵蚀我.……我懂了,迷恋寂寞,我的心将永远流淌着伤感的小溪,无不停歇,寂寞是黑色的,我用黑色的笔诠释寂寞.因为我懂得寂寞永远无法上色.寂寞!我写给自己看(可是为什么,自己努力的忘记一切,可心里还是有一个无法割舍------他.我的未来是流浪吗?真的要逃避这伤感的地方吗?)我不知道自己还要流浪到几时,也不知道什么时候才能停下来.我只能在我的心里祝福她,我只能把他永远个埋葬在心里.

Recently, people have become accustomed to living a life of a person, a loner person, I do not know because what may be because he, or are seen through the world of human indifference, confusion boundless. Are afraid of, but also to escape. Pursuit of happiness has long lost the courage to now, but also very difficult to go back. Happiness and loneliness of these two concepts, as are two worlds. One is full of sunshine, a world full of darkness are the world. I am the darkness in one, lonely people will understand the loneliness of people with each other in the dark with each other, because most understand the intentions of a person. Because, instead of the darkness to see the surface of a smile, and hearts are hard to communicate. Feelings go, go listen. And sunshine are my world and the people of two worlds. In darkness, when I go looking for the efforts of the road leading to the sunny world, who lost all of the burden, when I saw the sun at the moment, I fear, it was bright sunshine me gill好痛, so I back the. Finally understand that happiness does not belong to me, and I never had to stay in the side of darkness, will never go try again to find happiness, because, I heard someone said: do not belong to our own things no longer have the scars go pursuit. Believed in me.
I began to degenerate, I am not going to care about the people around them do not know how to forgive others to understand. Fee is no longer a brain to think about this think it is no longer good and bad things go tube. That see through everything. Annoyance for those who do not have things go their brains fee, all letting nature take its course, thinking that they can be happy, put down all the good things other people throw on the one hand, they want to do things, do not pursue, do not cherish, to go to work every day off, lived in two first-line of life, huh, huh, this happiness? I did not feel. Slowly I found I was wrong. Tap one stupid mistake too. This allows me to lose everything, originally belong to our own things and no. Nothing. Only a person himself. Now own some of my friends who left me, Oh, ah yes, I should not feel pity, I know, they are not really my friend.
My heart has other people do not see the tears, little by little the erosion of my fragile heart, corrode my hope. Closed my own, because I have grown used to loneliness, accustomed to! My loneliness, my weakness, I will never mature, there is no ability to doubt myself, I was almost into my day to do, thinking, in order to let themselves are hearts will never stop? Forever or not stop. I almost can not control their own. Can not control their own thought, neurotic disorders, all the chaos the right direction. Can not find a machine like the sound of the landing of the plane, waiting to fall, the crash. I was lonely and missing support the direction, due to loneliness and depravity, as lonely and lost everything, all the better, it does not belong to me, lonely ah, you make me Fall in love with you Why, why ... why ... let me love was able to extricate themselves. Let me love lost direction ... ...
Finally to suppress the same as me, like me, like erosion. ... ... I understand, obsessed with loneliness, my heart will always be a sad stream flows, to name just a stop, loneliness are black, my black pen lonely interpretation. Since I know loneliness will never be able to color. Lonely! Addressed to watch my own (But why, forget all their efforts may have a heart or can not give him ------ . my future you are wandering? Really want to escape this sad place right?) I do not know their own would also like to stray to when, not knowing when they could come to a halt. I can only wish her my heart, I can only put him in my heart Forever个buried.