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雅思作文修改,谁好心给我改改吧.

来源:学生作业帮 编辑:作业帮 分类:综合作业 时间:2024/07/17 11:39:45
雅思作文修改,谁好心给我改改吧.
Q
Most of us believe it is important to protect the environment but few of us make efforts to achieve this goal.What are the causes of this phenomenon and what are your solutions.
A
Nowadays,the continuously increasing environmental degradation has become to a critical issue in modern society.Although the problem is already noticed by the public,there are still few actions taken by people.In this essay,I will analyse some possible causes of this phenomenon and the corresponding solutions.
First of all,compare to previous age,people have a higher living standard as a result of new technology development.On the other hand,people over exploit natural resources and make the environmental problem aggravated.Even though people start to know protecting environment is everyone’s duty,the conflict still exists.Whether people should sacrifice the environmental resources or their enjoyment has become to a struggling decision for them.Secondly,it is a fast pace society today and everyone is busy with their life.The huge competitions in different industries and relatively high unemployment rate are the cases in point.Therefore people have less time to care about remote future environment problem.In other words,they need to look after the surviving problems which may directly influence their life now.Moreover,people might find it is quite difficult for them to take actions to protect the environment as they short of general knowledge about it.For instance,people may not even know they are using too many plastic bags and stop using them is one of the things they can do to save the environment.
Accordingly,the solutions could be the following.To begin with,governments should set the regulations to control the situation.For example,people go shopping in the supermarket in China have to either bring their own bag to carry the goods or pay for the every single plastic bag.It is a really effective control to the whitepollution.After that,the media plays a key role in terms of general environmental protecting education.TV and radio programs can be utilised to proliferate the general ideas about saving environment.Finally,voluntary associations should be organized and people should be encouraged to join them as well.
Overall,the causes of this phenomenon are various and complex.However,if the public and the governments work together,I believe the situation can be improved tremendously.
文章中心明确,论点很清晰,论据也比较清楚有力.另外,作者的基本功不错,文章中没有什么太多的语法错误.而且笔者在文中多出使用连接词,使整篇文章都显得很自然,衔接的很好.目前得分:6.5分.
但是注意一些小问题:1 第一句 become 后面为什么要接to呢?
2 注意一些词中间要加连字符 如over-exploit fast-pace等
在注意一些细节问题 文章会更好的!