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写的自我介绍,不知道有没有需要改的地方.

来源:学生作业帮 编辑:作业帮 分类:英语作业 时间:2024/08/29 01:54:00
写的自我介绍,不知道有没有需要改的地方.
Morning everyone,I'm really glad to be here and be one of this class.My English name is Estell,which was given by my good friend who learns French.He told me this name means stars in french.
I'm gonna be a junior soon,and my major is journalism.Actually,I wanna be a cartoonist when I was little,coz I was addicted to the cartoons and I like drawing.But later I realised that you have to sacrifice a lot of things and you have to work really hard to be a artist like a cartoonist.Plus u know in China,the industry of cartoon-things are underdeveloped,I think maybe it's hard for me to find a job as a cartoonist.So I turned my eyes to another hobby of mine,that is,writing.And that's why I chose my major as journalism.I like to tell storise.But there is a big diffrence between story and news.Story can be totally make-up,but the news must be based on the fact and you cannot add something imaginary to it.
I like imagining,so I like movies for sure.My favorite moive is "The lord of the ring",which I think is definitely one of the grestest moives of this century.
And I think that's it.Thank u very much.
写得很好,看得出来语法很好,没有大问题只有一些细节需要注意下
第二行 was given 改成 is given客观事实;told 这里还是用tell较好,不然后面的means也得改了,这里也没有必要强调过去时.
第五行 I liked drawing
第五行 later 改成when I grow up,后面的realize用原形,保持时态一致,realize你拼错了.
第十行 I like to tell 改成I like telling
第十一行 based on fact(the 去掉,除非后面有对fact的内容作介绍,不然不用the)
第十二行 something 改为anything(否定的)
第十四行 of this century 改成in this century