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托福作文求评分.TPO9的独立作文.

来源:学生作业帮 编辑:作业帮 分类:综合作业 时间:2024/09/29 21:55:38
托福作文求评分.TPO9的独立作文.
综合作文,
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?Technology has made children less creative than they were in the past.Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
作文如下:
Some ,firmly holding the viewpoint that the creativity and the imagination of the kids decline with the appearance of TVs ,magazines ,computers and other modern technologies ,are on the same side with me .The newly-invented technologies apparently prevent the children from positive thinking and creative works instead rise to be a passive information acceptor.The first reason ,easy to acquire ,is the inability to activating the brain thinking .Exposed to the information explosion and the ease provided by the information searching engines ,the kids always won't think for themselves when confronted with any difficulties .Just take one of my brothers for an instance ,his teacher assigned him to write an essay on the animals' defensive behaviors with the help of a compulsory book ,he just put that book away and logged on the internet ,pasted the information without even a meticulous reading .Additionally ,as I want to state,modern technology like TVs ,magazines ,electronic books foster the teens to be a thorough passive acceptor .That's to say ,there always being no considerable thoughts wondering wether it's true or not ,the teenagers adapt to the backgrounds and the viewpoints that are cast in the TVs or magazines and so on .The phenomenon that young girls cannot stop reading the pink bubble love stories ,ignoring the possibility that a prince falls in love with an ugly girl only for her kind heart ,strongly champions the point .And the last reason I want to maintain is that as young teens spend so much time on the internet chatting ,playing games ,watching movies ,they lose the chances to do other creative works like writing poetry ,drawing pictures ,sculpting a stone and so many jobs that motivate the kids' brain storm.All in all ,the modern technologies do decrease the motivation of creativity at the consequence of being exposed to so much information ,growing into a passive acceptor and lack of time to do creative jobs .
规定时间内完成.
理由有点差不多,后两个没有论据(就是例子).还有,语言不太地道,如one of my brothers可以直接说my brother +人名.分数我不好说,不过我考试都是GOOD,一定要有例子,格式相似没关系,例子最重要.关于今昔对比文章,从“科技的发展,环境的污染,观念的扭转,福利的完善”四方面考虑.论点既是:1.孩子观念改变(不用creative,因为有科技),2..3..
再问: 谢谢你啊同学,我还想问一下,第一个问题是:第二点里我所说的young girls cannot stop reading the pink bubble love stories 这样的算例子吗?就是不指名道姓只是描述现象的那种? 第二点是,如果时间不够了的话,这个时候我们该怎么办……
再答: 例子分泛例和具体的例子。泛例即是不具体的人名,比如说你的那个young girls cannot stop reading the pink bubble love stories ,但是这样不能GOOD因为没有点到论点。就像论点是A+B-->C,则例子中一定要体现A1+B1-->C1,不然提到了就没用了。个人推荐泛例,因为具体的例子要写具体情况,这样就得多写字,导致最后时间不够。泛例不用特定情况,可以节省几十个字。 时间不够可以只写2个论点,但是一定要充分详细。其实一段100字足够了,应该写得完。其中例子70-80字,语言一定要地道啊。
再问: 恩,非常感谢你~~~