高中英语作文修改.ˊ_>ˋ 题目和要求很长,就只好拍照了…希望能看得清…
来源:学生作业帮 编辑:作业帮 分类:英语作业 时间:2024/10/04 20:22:57
高中英语作文修改.ˊ_>ˋ 题目和要求很长,就只好拍照了…希望能看得清…
高中英语作文修改.ˊ_>ˋ
题目和要求很长,就只好拍照了…希望能看得清…
The author shows his views that people should love the disabled people as well as respect them and give them the opportunity to show their talent.
The author raises Stevie Wonder's case to demonstrate that the disabled can successfully finish their jobs as the normal people and even do better than the normal people in somewhere.
In the real world,helping the disabled,has been an awareness being burried into people's mind,leads people to take actions to help the disabled.However,the help bases on compassion but respect,which likes being given the sympathy from the stronger to the weaker,which is unequal.
According to a social survey,most of the disabled are grateful to accept people's kindness,but they also willing to do what within themselves without people's help.So that it is important to consider whether to help the disabled through the eyes of the disabled before taking actions,which not only protects the disabled's dignity but also is a way to understand the disabled and gives up the prejudice.
高三党,英语基础不是很好,写的句子和用词都没有多大把握.麻烦帮忙找找语法错误和哪里写的不好,(●°u°●) 如果能整句打出来就更好了~
多谢指点啊!
高中英语作文修改.ˊ_>ˋ
题目和要求很长,就只好拍照了…希望能看得清…
The author shows his views that people should love the disabled people as well as respect them and give them the opportunity to show their talent.
The author raises Stevie Wonder's case to demonstrate that the disabled can successfully finish their jobs as the normal people and even do better than the normal people in somewhere.
In the real world,helping the disabled,has been an awareness being burried into people's mind,leads people to take actions to help the disabled.However,the help bases on compassion but respect,which likes being given the sympathy from the stronger to the weaker,which is unequal.
According to a social survey,most of the disabled are grateful to accept people's kindness,but they also willing to do what within themselves without people's help.So that it is important to consider whether to help the disabled through the eyes of the disabled before taking actions,which not only protects the disabled's dignity but also is a way to understand the disabled and gives up the prejudice.
高三党,英语基础不是很好,写的句子和用词都没有多大把握.麻烦帮忙找找语法错误和哪里写的不好,(●°u°●) 如果能整句打出来就更好了~
多谢指点啊!
哟,又是你~所以我又来了= =
The author shows his views that people should love the disabled people 【这个,建议你把people换掉,因为你前面也有个people,两个看着很变扭】 as well as respect them and give them the【去掉】 opportunity【复数,因为你不是只有一个残疾人】 to show their talent【s,复数】.
The author raises【这词用得,raise不适合用提起,用mentioned比较好】 Stevie Wonder's case to demonstrate that the disabled can successfully finish their jobs as the normal people and even do better than the normal people in somewhere【somehow用在这里根本就不对,to some extent】.
In the real world,helping the disabled【你把这个变成插入语了兄弟,错的】,has been an awareness being burried 【你这个being burried作的是什么成份?】into people's mind,【which,不然又两个动词了】leads people to take actions to help the disabled【天啊,这句句子整个是错的并且根本就不通,要改不好,需要整个重写】.However,the help 【is】bases 【based】 on compassion but 【but是干什么的?not!】respect【你这句句子又是错的,整个不通】,which 【你这个which代指的是什么?按语法来看它代指的是respect】likes being given 【看不明白你要说什么】the sympathy from the stronger to the weaker,which is unequal【你前面已经一个which了,这又来一个】【这整个一个句子又是错的,改不了,要重写】.【这一段简直是乱七八糟= =】
According to a social survey,most of the disabled are grateful to accept people's kindness,but they also willing to do what within themselves【within themselves这是个什么表达】 without people's help.So that 【要么去掉that,要么后面不加完整句子】it is important to consider whether to help the disabled through the eyes of the disabled 【看不懂你要表达什么】before taking actions,which not only protects the disabled's dignity but also is 【is去掉】a way to understand the disabled and gives up the prejudice【有点变扭】
总算看完了,说说总体的印象就是:
这篇还不如上一篇= =,我理解你想用长句,但用不好还不如不用,起码你上一篇,我可以看明白你到底想表达什么,但这一篇,大部分的长句根本就不通顺,弄得人很难理解你到底要说什么.所以如果是这样的话你还不如用简单句.
你大部分的长句语法【在我看来= =】根本就不通顺,各种结构成份【在我看来= =】全部都是错误的,给人的感觉就是为了要长句所以一股脑把所有的东西都塞进去.长句这种东西是要建立在你能用,并且会用的基础上.并不是所有的句子都要是长句.而且这个东西是要练的,不是说想用就能用的.
建议你如果还要写作文的话,慢慢来,一篇作文里就来两个长句,但你一定要确保它是正确的.
长句第一步是模仿,找你们阅读的文章,把里面的长句拉出来看,看完了之后把你自己要说的东西,按照别人那个长句结构先塞上去,先确保它对.然后就记住这种句式,熟练了之后就信手拈来用了.
我说的可能比较不客气,当然我也不保证我百分百正确= =,所以请一定不要介意!
我知道你可能会很生气,因为我以前被人批过“一坨狗屎”四个字,当时气得要爆炸= =,不过思来想去要做的不是生气,而是要证明我写的东西不是一坨狗屎→_→……
最后,加油吧骚年!
再问: =3= 多谢啦,受益匪浅啊~
再问: 亲,我写了篇英语作文,蛮烦帮帮看看吧~ http://wapiknow.baidu.com/question/552040008045535012.html?fr=index_nav&ssid=0&uid=0EDF8D6C75E8E8EC9FD19274587115F3&step=2
The author shows his views that people should love the disabled people 【这个,建议你把people换掉,因为你前面也有个people,两个看着很变扭】 as well as respect them and give them the【去掉】 opportunity【复数,因为你不是只有一个残疾人】 to show their talent【s,复数】.
The author raises【这词用得,raise不适合用提起,用mentioned比较好】 Stevie Wonder's case to demonstrate that the disabled can successfully finish their jobs as the normal people and even do better than the normal people in somewhere【somehow用在这里根本就不对,to some extent】.
In the real world,helping the disabled【你把这个变成插入语了兄弟,错的】,has been an awareness being burried 【你这个being burried作的是什么成份?】into people's mind,【which,不然又两个动词了】leads people to take actions to help the disabled【天啊,这句句子整个是错的并且根本就不通,要改不好,需要整个重写】.However,the help 【is】bases 【based】 on compassion but 【but是干什么的?not!】respect【你这句句子又是错的,整个不通】,which 【你这个which代指的是什么?按语法来看它代指的是respect】likes being given 【看不明白你要说什么】the sympathy from the stronger to the weaker,which is unequal【你前面已经一个which了,这又来一个】【这整个一个句子又是错的,改不了,要重写】.【这一段简直是乱七八糟= =】
According to a social survey,most of the disabled are grateful to accept people's kindness,but they also willing to do what within themselves【within themselves这是个什么表达】 without people's help.So that 【要么去掉that,要么后面不加完整句子】it is important to consider whether to help the disabled through the eyes of the disabled 【看不懂你要表达什么】before taking actions,which not only protects the disabled's dignity but also is 【is去掉】a way to understand the disabled and gives up the prejudice【有点变扭】
总算看完了,说说总体的印象就是:
这篇还不如上一篇= =,我理解你想用长句,但用不好还不如不用,起码你上一篇,我可以看明白你到底想表达什么,但这一篇,大部分的长句根本就不通顺,弄得人很难理解你到底要说什么.所以如果是这样的话你还不如用简单句.
你大部分的长句语法【在我看来= =】根本就不通顺,各种结构成份【在我看来= =】全部都是错误的,给人的感觉就是为了要长句所以一股脑把所有的东西都塞进去.长句这种东西是要建立在你能用,并且会用的基础上.并不是所有的句子都要是长句.而且这个东西是要练的,不是说想用就能用的.
建议你如果还要写作文的话,慢慢来,一篇作文里就来两个长句,但你一定要确保它是正确的.
长句第一步是模仿,找你们阅读的文章,把里面的长句拉出来看,看完了之后把你自己要说的东西,按照别人那个长句结构先塞上去,先确保它对.然后就记住这种句式,熟练了之后就信手拈来用了.
我说的可能比较不客气,当然我也不保证我百分百正确= =,所以请一定不要介意!
我知道你可能会很生气,因为我以前被人批过“一坨狗屎”四个字,当时气得要爆炸= =,不过思来想去要做的不是生气,而是要证明我写的东西不是一坨狗屎→_→……
最后,加油吧骚年!
再问: =3= 多谢啦,受益匪浅啊~
再问: 亲,我写了篇英语作文,蛮烦帮帮看看吧~ http://wapiknow.baidu.com/question/552040008045535012.html?fr=index_nav&ssid=0&uid=0EDF8D6C75E8E8EC9FD19274587115F3&step=2
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