作业帮五分钟英文演讲稿 相声或者小品
来源：学生作业帮 编辑：作业帮 分类：英语作业 时间：2024/11/05 17:24:31
五分钟英文演讲稿 相声或者小品
大一水平 ,,相声小品都行.
本周五急用,
大一水平 ,,相声小品都行.
本周五急用,
Big words of western tour （大话西游）
Chapter 1
Site：The wedding
Characters:牛魔王 、至尊宝、紫霞、小妖
Aside: The story begins with a wedding. The Bull King is going to have a concubine.
牛：Today is my wedding. I am going to have a concubine. Ha ha ha …….
妖：Concubine? Dose your wife agree to it?
牛：Oh! She is not lovely anymore. She’s right now at the Flame Mountain. She can do nothing about it!
(至尊宝从后台走入人群中)
牛：Let me introduce my brother to you! My bro!
Come here! This is my brother.
(牛深情地转向紫霞)
牛：Zixia, listen to me. I think I ‘ve fallen in love with you once I know you. I want to show my sincerity. So I request you to marry me in front of my bros. This Pandora’s Box is my gift to you. I hope you would say yes.
妖：I object!
牛：What?
妖：Zixia has a means to test her lover. If you can pass it, I will shout up!
至：What’s this? Really?
妖：This test is that she would marry the guy who can make her Magic Sword go out of the scabbard.
(剑从至的怀中落下)
妖：Magic Sword?
牛：Let me do this!
(紫跑出,拾剑)
紫：It’s not true! It’s just a joke. It is still meaningless even if you can put it out!
(紫跑下)
妖：King, Iron Fan Princess has come.
牛：Aaa……
(牛惊慌地跑下)
Aside: The monkey king leaves the front hall, running to back garden……
Chapter 2
Site: Bull King’s back garden
Characters: 至尊宝、紫霞
（至跑过来,突然看到紫独自坐在台阶上,于是走过来）
至：Why are you hiding here?
(紫抽剑,指向至.两人定格,至走出来,独白)
至：At this time, the blade is really close to me, 0.01 cm I think. But after a short period of time, 0.01 second I think, the owner of the sword will fall for me whole-heartedly. Because I’ve decided to tell lies, I’ve told many lies in my life, but I think it is the most wonderful lie!
紫：I’ll kill you if you come closer!
至：You should kill me! Kill me! I’d found my best love, but I didn’t treasure her. I left regretful after that. It’s the ultimate pain in the world. Just cut my throat, please don’t hesitate! If God can give me a chance, I will tell her there words. “I love you”. If God wants to give a time limit, I’ll say this love will last 10 thousand years!
（紫长叹,抛剑,拾剑,抱剑）
紫：What can you tell your wife?
至：I have to tell her the truth. So I must get the Pandora’s Box back. Then go back with you and explain everything. But I hate myself that I can’t get the box back. I ……
紫：I help you!
至：No, it’s dangerous!
紫：You don’t want to?
至：I do! But ……
紫：I trust you! I’ll get the Pandora’s Box back tonight. Wait for me here at midnight.
(猪喊)
至：Let me do something to my boss first. See you tonight.
（依依不舍）
Aside: The night ……
Chapter 3
Site: Dungeon
Characters: 至尊宝、猪八戒、沙僧、唐僧
猪和沙：Master, master
(两人同时悄声说)
猪：We come to save you.
沙：We come to bring you out.
唐：I won’t go.
猪和沙：Stay here? Why?
唐：There’re full of obstacles in the way of getting scriptures. This is because we’re not united enough. So we let the devils do bad to us. That’s fine. This prison has no difference with the outside world, to me; the outside world is just a bigger prison. You go out first. I have something to tell him.
(猪和沙下)
唐：You come in and have a sit!
至：To be honest, I’m not your disciple. I don’t want to be your disciple. Master I know you’re a good guy. Please let me go!
唐：Do you know “dong , dong, dong ……”?
至：What is “dong, dong, dong”?
唐：“dong, dong, dong ……” is ……
(唐唱Only you)
至：Stop. Stop. I can’t take this anymore, please stop ……
唐：Ohoh ……
至：Damn you, you … I’ve said I can’t take this anymore. Don’t disturb or I’ll kill you.
唐： Monkey King, you can kill me. Life and death are very minor. When you know why you should make sacrifices, you will come back and sing this song with me. Namonitabhaya …
(至跑走)
Aside: The Monkey King succeeds in escaping form the Bull King, and he reaches the Spiders’ Cave with the Grapes. Unfortunately, the Monkey King and his friends meet the Queen of Spider.
The Monkey have heard that if the blade slashed fast and accurately, the guy who’s cut open won’t die at once. He can still see. So he asks the Queen of the Spider to kill him as fast as she could and to tear his heart out and let him have a look.
After the Monkey King’s death, he appears in the Hole of Waterfall …
Chapter 4
Site: The Hole of Waterfall
Characters: 至尊宝、观音
至：Goddess. I’m about to understand your words. I used my eyes to see in the past. What I was dying. I started using my heart to see this world. Then I could see all things clearly. That girl …has left a drop of tear in my heart. I felt her sorrow.
观：Have you given up all things in human world?
至：Yes! Life and death is just minor! …… But I don’t understand why can human’s hatred last 10 years, 50 years, and even 500 years. What hatred is it?
观：So that Tang Monk went to the west and got scriptures, which clean out hearts.
至：OK, I want to stay here, there are many things waiting for me to do.
观：I want to warn you again. After wearing the gold ring, you’re no longer a normal human. You can’t have human desires anymore. If you do so, the gold ring will get smaller and smaller. It’s very uncomfortable.
至：OK.
观：Before wearing the ring, what do you want to say?
至：I had had found my best love, but I didn’t treasure her. When I lost her, I regret. It’s the most pain in the world. If God can give me another chance, I will say there words to her “I love you”! If there is a time limit, I hope, it is 10 thousand years!
还有
7人的.不过很有意义.可以参考一下.
pocket money
Characters: Narrator(N), Salesman(S), Dad(D), Maggie(M), Alice(A),
Candy(C), Policeman(P)
Preparation: 学校布景,做糖果用桌及相关材料,小贩家布景
Scene1（At Salesman’s home）
N: In a dark dirty house, there lived a small, dirty salesman. He
always makes unhealthy candies and sells them to the students. He
has a lot of money now. But how does he make the candies? Oh, xu ……
He is coming!
S: Hello, do you know me? No? Oh, let me tell you .I’m the famous
candy salesman at the school gate. My candies are very
popular,(展示),I don’t know why. The foolish students always come
here. I’ll be a boss soon! Candy, money, candy, money……
Oops! It’s time to make candies now.(看表)
First, put the flour on the table.
Then, water, sugar, flour.(边说边做)
Now press, press……
Oh, my dirty hands! Never mind! Just do it!(满不在意的神情)
Press, press……
Oh, my god!(鼻涕)Never mind! Just do it!
Press, press, the children will not know it , it’s OK,hehehe……
Now let me cut it into pieces!
One, two, three, four, five……（用脏菜刀）
Wow, everything is ready!
糖果钻出来（跳舞）,跳完后,非常难过地说：Oh, I’m so dirty and ugly! What can I do? The
students will eat me! And they will be ill! Wuwuwu…
S: Mmmm…It looks dirty, let me give you a nice coat! (给它穿上) Wow! Now
it’s so beautiful! Haha……
C: Oh, no! Don’t sell me! I’m dirty!(拖糖果下场)
Scene2（At the school gate）
N: The next day, when the class is over, all the students come
out happily and the salesman goes to the school gate as usual.
（Maggie和Alice 欢快地跑出校门,看到小贩）
(小贩拉着糖上场,吆喝)：Candies! Candies! Sweet candies! ……
M: Oh, Alice! Look! Candies!
A: Yeah! I think they are yummy!
M: Let’s ask him.
A: OK!
C: Don’t buy me!（非常焦急）
M&A: Why?
C: I’m dirty!
M: No, you look nice!
C: What can I do? (面向观众) Wuwuwu…(小贩将她拉在后面)
S: Candies! Candies!（引诱两个女孩）
M&A: How much are they?
S: Do you have money?（轻蔑）
M&A: Money?(对视)
M:Oh, I’ve no money!（失落之极）
A: Me too.
S: No money? So sorry!(吆喝着走开,下场)
M: What can we do now?
A: Let’s ask dad for money.
M: But how to ask?
A: How?…Oh,I know ,let’s make him happy ,and he will give us
money.（自信）
M: Good idea!(全部下场)
Scene 3:（At Maggie’s home）
N: The children have to go home and ask dad for some money, and they
know their father is good at playing guitar, so they will do
something clever. (爸爸看报)
M: Dad,dad,let’s sing a song ,OK? (同时Alice去取吉他准备拿给爸爸)
A: And play the guitar for us!
M: We know you play so well!
(爸爸诧异地看着孩子)
D: Oh? What a bright day today!
M&A: Please, dad!(哀求)
D:OKOK! Let’s.
(取吉他,开始准备)D: Which song do you like? How about Edelweiss?
M&A: Of course!
(开始弹,第一段孩子随节奏起舞,第二段孩子开始轻声讨论起来“you first”之类的话,爸爸停止弹琴.)
D: What’s the matter
M: Dad, we have no money!
A: Can we have some please?
D: I think you have lots of pocket money ,and you don’t need any
more.
M:I want to buy some candies at the school gate.
A: They look so sweet and nice!
M: Other students always buy them!
D: But……You can’t ! They are quite unhealthy. Please go and do your
homework..(置之不理,转头看报,孩子回到房间)
M: What shall we do now?
A: Let me think …well, I know!(轻声在Maggie耳边说)
M: Oh, you are so clever! Let’s go.(回到爸爸身边)
M: Dad, I want a new eraser!
A: I want a longer ruler!
M&A: Dad, please!
D: Things are expensive these days. We have to save money!
M: But dad, my eraser is too small now!(拿出破橡皮来给爸爸看)
A: And my ruler is broken.（拿出断尺）
D: OK, children. I believe you this time, make sure, don’t buy the
food at the school gate. It’s unhealthy! Do you know?
M&A: Yes, sir!
D: Here you are !( 给钱)
M&A: Thanks very much, dad! Bye!(非常高兴,下场)
N: The next day, when the class is over ,Maggie and Alice come to
the salesman again. They are happy to buy the candies and then have
them, but soon they feel a stomachache.
(孩子高兴地买了糖,边吃边回家,小贩下场,孩子到家后肚子痛)
M: Aiyo!……（两人躬着背进场）
A: …….
D: What’s wrong?
M: I’ve a stomachache!
A: Me too!
D: What did you eat? The food at the school gate?
M: Yes. We had some candies just now.
A: I had some too!
D: Oh! You’ve cheated me! You bought the candies instead of the
eraser and ruler. I always tell you that don’t buy the food at the
school gate, they are unhealthy!（生气）
M: But they look nice!
A: And tastes good!
M&A: Aiyo……
D:Well, Let’s go to the salesman together and have a look!
M&A: OK.
Scene 4: (At the school gate)
N: When they get to the school gate, a policeman is asking the
salesman to go away.
(正走到校门口,发现警察驱赶校门口的小贩)
P: Hey! You shouldn’t stay here, leave now!
C: Let’s go home, let’s go home! (轻声并拉小贩)
S: No! My candies are nice and popular here! And…
C: You are telling a lie! I’m very dirty and unhealthy!
M&A: Dad, it’s him! Aiyo…（指着小贩）
D: He?
(警察走过来问爸爸,朝小孩)
P: What’s the matter with them?
D: They got a stomachache after having his candies.
S: Really? But I’ve never heard of it. And……
P: Stop, stop!(打断小贩) Look at the two girls! Are you guilty? You must
be honest with the students, and don’t sell candies any more.（非常严厉）
S: OK. I know. (羞愧)
C: Let’s go home. Let’s go home.
Policeman(对小孩): Girls, please listen! Don’t buy the candies next
time. They are bad for your health.
D: Yes, he is right. And you shouldn’t tell a lie to me. Try to be
an honest person! Will you?
M&A: OK, dad!
P: Let’s take them to the hospital now.
D: OK, Let’s go.
N（出场）: A few days later, the girls recovered. And this story is
trying to tell you that some of the phenomenon must be kept down, we
hope it could be improved soon. What’s more, we also hope students
themselves can be honest and all the salesmen can be honest as well
Chapter 1
Site：The wedding
Characters:牛魔王 、至尊宝、紫霞、小妖
Aside: The story begins with a wedding. The Bull King is going to have a concubine.
牛：Today is my wedding. I am going to have a concubine. Ha ha ha …….
妖：Concubine? Dose your wife agree to it?
牛：Oh! She is not lovely anymore. She’s right now at the Flame Mountain. She can do nothing about it!
(至尊宝从后台走入人群中)
牛：Let me introduce my brother to you! My bro!
Come here! This is my brother.
(牛深情地转向紫霞)
牛：Zixia, listen to me. I think I ‘ve fallen in love with you once I know you. I want to show my sincerity. So I request you to marry me in front of my bros. This Pandora’s Box is my gift to you. I hope you would say yes.
妖：I object!
牛：What?
妖：Zixia has a means to test her lover. If you can pass it, I will shout up!
至：What’s this? Really?
妖：This test is that she would marry the guy who can make her Magic Sword go out of the scabbard.
(剑从至的怀中落下)
妖：Magic Sword?
牛：Let me do this!
(紫跑出,拾剑)
紫：It’s not true! It’s just a joke. It is still meaningless even if you can put it out!
(紫跑下)
妖：King, Iron Fan Princess has come.
牛：Aaa……
(牛惊慌地跑下)
Aside: The monkey king leaves the front hall, running to back garden……
Chapter 2
Site: Bull King’s back garden
Characters: 至尊宝、紫霞
（至跑过来,突然看到紫独自坐在台阶上,于是走过来）
至：Why are you hiding here?
(紫抽剑,指向至.两人定格,至走出来,独白)
至：At this time, the blade is really close to me, 0.01 cm I think. But after a short period of time, 0.01 second I think, the owner of the sword will fall for me whole-heartedly. Because I’ve decided to tell lies, I’ve told many lies in my life, but I think it is the most wonderful lie!
紫：I’ll kill you if you come closer!
至：You should kill me! Kill me! I’d found my best love, but I didn’t treasure her. I left regretful after that. It’s the ultimate pain in the world. Just cut my throat, please don’t hesitate! If God can give me a chance, I will tell her there words. “I love you”. If God wants to give a time limit, I’ll say this love will last 10 thousand years!
（紫长叹,抛剑,拾剑,抱剑）
紫：What can you tell your wife?
至：I have to tell her the truth. So I must get the Pandora’s Box back. Then go back with you and explain everything. But I hate myself that I can’t get the box back. I ……
紫：I help you!
至：No, it’s dangerous!
紫：You don’t want to?
至：I do! But ……
紫：I trust you! I’ll get the Pandora’s Box back tonight. Wait for me here at midnight.
(猪喊)
至：Let me do something to my boss first. See you tonight.
（依依不舍）
Aside: The night ……
Chapter 3
Site: Dungeon
Characters: 至尊宝、猪八戒、沙僧、唐僧
猪和沙：Master, master
(两人同时悄声说)
猪：We come to save you.
沙：We come to bring you out.
唐：I won’t go.
猪和沙：Stay here? Why?
唐：There’re full of obstacles in the way of getting scriptures. This is because we’re not united enough. So we let the devils do bad to us. That’s fine. This prison has no difference with the outside world, to me; the outside world is just a bigger prison. You go out first. I have something to tell him.
(猪和沙下)
唐：You come in and have a sit!
至：To be honest, I’m not your disciple. I don’t want to be your disciple. Master I know you’re a good guy. Please let me go!
唐：Do you know “dong , dong, dong ……”?
至：What is “dong, dong, dong”?
唐：“dong, dong, dong ……” is ……
(唐唱Only you)
至：Stop. Stop. I can’t take this anymore, please stop ……
唐：Ohoh ……
至：Damn you, you … I’ve said I can’t take this anymore. Don’t disturb or I’ll kill you.
唐： Monkey King, you can kill me. Life and death are very minor. When you know why you should make sacrifices, you will come back and sing this song with me. Namonitabhaya …
(至跑走)
Aside: The Monkey King succeeds in escaping form the Bull King, and he reaches the Spiders’ Cave with the Grapes. Unfortunately, the Monkey King and his friends meet the Queen of Spider.
The Monkey have heard that if the blade slashed fast and accurately, the guy who’s cut open won’t die at once. He can still see. So he asks the Queen of the Spider to kill him as fast as she could and to tear his heart out and let him have a look.
After the Monkey King’s death, he appears in the Hole of Waterfall …
Chapter 4
Site: The Hole of Waterfall
Characters: 至尊宝、观音
至：Goddess. I’m about to understand your words. I used my eyes to see in the past. What I was dying. I started using my heart to see this world. Then I could see all things clearly. That girl …has left a drop of tear in my heart. I felt her sorrow.
观：Have you given up all things in human world?
至：Yes! Life and death is just minor! …… But I don’t understand why can human’s hatred last 10 years, 50 years, and even 500 years. What hatred is it?
观：So that Tang Monk went to the west and got scriptures, which clean out hearts.
至：OK, I want to stay here, there are many things waiting for me to do.
观：I want to warn you again. After wearing the gold ring, you’re no longer a normal human. You can’t have human desires anymore. If you do so, the gold ring will get smaller and smaller. It’s very uncomfortable.
至：OK.
观：Before wearing the ring, what do you want to say?
至：I had had found my best love, but I didn’t treasure her. When I lost her, I regret. It’s the most pain in the world. If God can give me another chance, I will say there words to her “I love you”! If there is a time limit, I hope, it is 10 thousand years!
还有
7人的.不过很有意义.可以参考一下.
pocket money
Characters: Narrator(N), Salesman(S), Dad(D), Maggie(M), Alice(A),
Candy(C), Policeman(P)
Preparation: 学校布景,做糖果用桌及相关材料,小贩家布景
Scene1（At Salesman’s home）
N: In a dark dirty house, there lived a small, dirty salesman. He
always makes unhealthy candies and sells them to the students. He
has a lot of money now. But how does he make the candies? Oh, xu ……
He is coming!
S: Hello, do you know me? No? Oh, let me tell you .I’m the famous
candy salesman at the school gate. My candies are very
popular,(展示),I don’t know why. The foolish students always come
here. I’ll be a boss soon! Candy, money, candy, money……
Oops! It’s time to make candies now.(看表)
First, put the flour on the table.
Then, water, sugar, flour.(边说边做)
Now press, press……
Oh, my dirty hands! Never mind! Just do it!(满不在意的神情)
Press, press……
Oh, my god!(鼻涕)Never mind! Just do it!
Press, press, the children will not know it , it’s OK,hehehe……
Now let me cut it into pieces!
One, two, three, four, five……（用脏菜刀）
Wow, everything is ready!
糖果钻出来（跳舞）,跳完后,非常难过地说：Oh, I’m so dirty and ugly! What can I do? The
students will eat me! And they will be ill! Wuwuwu…
S: Mmmm…It looks dirty, let me give you a nice coat! (给它穿上) Wow! Now
it’s so beautiful! Haha……
C: Oh, no! Don’t sell me! I’m dirty!(拖糖果下场)
Scene2（At the school gate）
N: The next day, when the class is over, all the students come
out happily and the salesman goes to the school gate as usual.
（Maggie和Alice 欢快地跑出校门,看到小贩）
(小贩拉着糖上场,吆喝)：Candies! Candies! Sweet candies! ……
M: Oh, Alice! Look! Candies!
A: Yeah! I think they are yummy!
M: Let’s ask him.
A: OK!
C: Don’t buy me!（非常焦急）
M&A: Why?
C: I’m dirty!
M: No, you look nice!
C: What can I do? (面向观众) Wuwuwu…(小贩将她拉在后面)
S: Candies! Candies!（引诱两个女孩）
M&A: How much are they?
S: Do you have money?（轻蔑）
M&A: Money?(对视)
M:Oh, I’ve no money!（失落之极）
A: Me too.
S: No money? So sorry!(吆喝着走开,下场)
M: What can we do now?
A: Let’s ask dad for money.
M: But how to ask?
A: How?…Oh,I know ,let’s make him happy ,and he will give us
money.（自信）
M: Good idea!(全部下场)
Scene 3:（At Maggie’s home）
N: The children have to go home and ask dad for some money, and they
know their father is good at playing guitar, so they will do
something clever. (爸爸看报)
M: Dad,dad,let’s sing a song ,OK? (同时Alice去取吉他准备拿给爸爸)
A: And play the guitar for us!
M: We know you play so well!
(爸爸诧异地看着孩子)
D: Oh? What a bright day today!
M&A: Please, dad!(哀求)
D:OKOK! Let’s.
(取吉他,开始准备)D: Which song do you like? How about Edelweiss?
M&A: Of course!
(开始弹,第一段孩子随节奏起舞,第二段孩子开始轻声讨论起来“you first”之类的话,爸爸停止弹琴.)
D: What’s the matter
M: Dad, we have no money!
A: Can we have some please?
D: I think you have lots of pocket money ,and you don’t need any
more.
M:I want to buy some candies at the school gate.
A: They look so sweet and nice!
M: Other students always buy them!
D: But……You can’t ! They are quite unhealthy. Please go and do your
homework..(置之不理,转头看报,孩子回到房间)
M: What shall we do now?
A: Let me think …well, I know!(轻声在Maggie耳边说)
M: Oh, you are so clever! Let’s go.(回到爸爸身边)
M: Dad, I want a new eraser!
A: I want a longer ruler!
M&A: Dad, please!
D: Things are expensive these days. We have to save money!
M: But dad, my eraser is too small now!(拿出破橡皮来给爸爸看)
A: And my ruler is broken.（拿出断尺）
D: OK, children. I believe you this time, make sure, don’t buy the
food at the school gate. It’s unhealthy! Do you know?
M&A: Yes, sir!
D: Here you are !( 给钱)
M&A: Thanks very much, dad! Bye!(非常高兴,下场)
N: The next day, when the class is over ,Maggie and Alice come to
the salesman again. They are happy to buy the candies and then have
them, but soon they feel a stomachache.
(孩子高兴地买了糖,边吃边回家,小贩下场,孩子到家后肚子痛)
M: Aiyo!……（两人躬着背进场）
A: …….
D: What’s wrong?
M: I’ve a stomachache!
A: Me too!
D: What did you eat? The food at the school gate?
M: Yes. We had some candies just now.
A: I had some too!
D: Oh! You’ve cheated me! You bought the candies instead of the
eraser and ruler. I always tell you that don’t buy the food at the
school gate, they are unhealthy!（生气）
M: But they look nice!
A: And tastes good!
M&A: Aiyo……
D:Well, Let’s go to the salesman together and have a look!
M&A: OK.
Scene 4: (At the school gate)
N: When they get to the school gate, a policeman is asking the
salesman to go away.
(正走到校门口,发现警察驱赶校门口的小贩)
P: Hey! You shouldn’t stay here, leave now!
C: Let’s go home, let’s go home! (轻声并拉小贩)
S: No! My candies are nice and popular here! And…
C: You are telling a lie! I’m very dirty and unhealthy!
M&A: Dad, it’s him! Aiyo…（指着小贩）
D: He?
(警察走过来问爸爸,朝小孩)
P: What’s the matter with them?
D: They got a stomachache after having his candies.
S: Really? But I’ve never heard of it. And……
P: Stop, stop!(打断小贩) Look at the two girls! Are you guilty? You must
be honest with the students, and don’t sell candies any more.（非常严厉）
S: OK. I know. (羞愧)
C: Let’s go home. Let’s go home.
Policeman(对小孩): Girls, please listen! Don’t buy the candies next
time. They are bad for your health.
D: Yes, he is right. And you shouldn’t tell a lie to me. Try to be
an honest person! Will you?
M&A: OK, dad!
P: Let’s take them to the hospital now.
D: OK, Let’s go.
N（出场）: A few days later, the girls recovered. And this story is
trying to tell you that some of the phenomenon must be kept down, we
hope it could be improved soon. What’s more, we also hope students
themselves can be honest and all the salesmen can be honest as well