英语翻译寻求英语高手帮我把以下的句子翻译成英文~或者是其他网络上流行的经典句子或者笑话（英语版）最好附注中文哈~1.巫师

英语翻译
寻求英语高手帮我把以下的句子翻译成英文~或者是其他网络上流行的经典句子或者笑话（英语版）最好附注中文哈~
1.巫师,请转告公主,老子还在披荆斩棘的路上,还有雪山未翻、大河未过、巨龙未杀、美女未泡……叫她继续死睡吧!1.再逼我,再逼我就装死给你看!
2.老子不但有车,还是自行的!
3.鄙视我的人那么多,你算老几?
4.打死我也不说,你还没使美人儿计呢!
5.我不但手气好,脚气也不错!
6.是镜子总会反光的!
7.帅有个P用?搞不好还不是被卒子给吃掉!
8.交给我你就不用放心了,没有错不了的事!
9.别紧张,我不是什么好人.
10.别谢,谢完还怎么好意思向你收钱啊!
11.别和我说放马过来----我是阿凡提!
12.你都不理我,那我成狗不理了!
13.明月几时有,去问易中天!
14.够不着吧,左脚踩右脚上试试
15.有的人活着,她已经死了.有的人活着,他早该死了!
16.你说...你喜欢我?其实...我一开始...其实我也...唉跟你说了吧,其实我也挺喜欢我自己的.
17.你是喝水,还是喝水,还是喝水?随你挑!
18.青山依旧在,只是有点红.
19.哎该说的说,不该说的小声说.
20.子曾经曰过:不要把我对你的容忍当成你不要脸的资本!
21.别以为我长的帅就认为我遥不可及高不可攀,其实我是海纳百川啊.
22.今天天气不错,又刮风又下雨的.
23.作为失败的典型,你实在是太成功了!
24.三个皮匠的脚臭死一个诸葛亮.
25.在这个红叶枫了的金秋.
26.再烦我就把你绑草船上借箭去!
27.风萧萧兮易水寒,欠了钱兮你要还!
28.A:去哪吃?我没钱了.
B:下馆子吧,我请----水管子.
29.看有该落下的没落下吗?
30.我左青龙右白虎,腰间纹个米老鼠.
31.A:此仇不报难咽下这口恶气啊.
B:那怎么才能让你咽气啊?
32.她胖得我大腿都拧不过她胳膊.
33.书山有路先干为净,学海无涯八宝作粥.
34.世界是我们的,也是儿子们的,但最终是那帮孙子们的.
35.
36.A:
B:坐了!喏,在P股底下,还热乎着呢...那给你.
37.今天谁坐庄啊,连黑板都不擦!
38.当初真是瞎了我的狗眼...
39.这个盲人难道是个瞎子?
2.我不是随便的人,但随便起来就不是人.
3.我身在江湖,江湖却没有关于我的传说……

1 wizard,please tell the princess,Lao tze exploits in the road,and did not turn,the snow had been killed,beauty,dragon not make...Call her to die to sleep!1 then forced me to push me to give you feign death!
2 Lao tze not only a car,or own!
3 I despise so many people,who are you?
4 I also don't say,haven't you make beauty program!
5.I only good luck,beriberi is good!
6 there is a mirror of!
7.Handsome a Maybe not to eat by pawns!
8.To me,you don't trust,no matter that can't be wrong!
9.Don't be nervous,I am not a good...
10) don't thank,thanks to your finish is damned money!
11.Don't say with me - I'm make.come forward avanty!
12 you ignore me,my dog ignored!
13.When the moon is,ask easy meridian passage!
14 reach on foot,on the left
15.Some people live,she's dead.Some people alive,he should have died!
16 you say...Do you like me?Actually...I started to...Actually I also...Alas say with you,I also like myself.
17.Are you drinking water,or drink,or?Whatever you choose!
The castle is in,just a little red.
19.Ah,said that the whispered shouldn't say.
The child had ever yue:don't put me on your tolerance for you shameless capital!
21.Don't think I would think my long handsome unreachable,actually I'm rivers.
And it's a nice day today,it's windy.
For as the typical failure,you really great success!
24.Three feet of death a cobbler smelly.
25 in the red YeFeng the golden...
26 I'm tired you lend arrows to tie grass on the boat!
And the wind,cold,xiao xi xi you owe money to return!
A:go and eat?I have no money.
B:dined out in a restaurant,I ShuiGuanZi - please.
29 a fall under the declining?
30 I left,right,waist lines qinglong tiger a Mickey Mouse.
31.A:vengeance will be mine!This evil spirit to swallow.
B:how can you died?
32 I thigh fat she twisted her arm but.
33.Everybody has to do is clean,the road is short time as porridge.
34.The world is ours,and his sons,but ultimately is the grandchildren.
35 homework!I wrote it!
A:36 for homework yet?
B:sit down!Here,in the P strands,still under the warm...You want to?It for you.
37 the dealer who today,even the blackboard are not wipe!
38) was really blind my eyes...
39.The blind is a blind man?
2 I isn't literally of person,but literally isn't a person.
3 I turned in the river,but not about me