作业帮帮我改一篇雅思的小作文好吗
来源：学生作业帮 编辑：作业帮 分类：综合作业 时间：2024/11/08 15:31:29
帮我改一篇雅思的小作文好吗
Given are two column graphs concerning the reasons for study and employer support in different age.
It is apparent from the information supplied that a host of people under 39 years old study because of career.In stark contrast,however,the rate of studying for interest climbs,to somewhere in the vicinity of 40 percent over forty years old,and is equal even outnumbers to career.
Employer support rate,meanwhile,saw a decline from approximately 60 percent to 30 percent under 30,was followed by a growth from virtually 30 percent to over 40 percent after 30 years old.
Also noteworthy is the fact that older human are,more focus on finding a job with his/her own interest.
从来没有人给我评过分,我也不知道自己的水平到底在哪,需要如何改进,希望各位能帮我改一下这篇文章,顺便大概评一下分,
Given are two column graphs concerning the reasons for study and employer support in different age.
It is apparent from the information supplied that a host of people under 39 years old study because of career.In stark contrast,however,the rate of studying for interest climbs,to somewhere in the vicinity of 40 percent over forty years old,and is equal even outnumbers to career.
Employer support rate,meanwhile,saw a decline from approximately 60 percent to 30 percent under 30,was followed by a growth from virtually 30 percent to over 40 percent after 30 years old.
Also noteworthy is the fact that older human are,more focus on finding a job with his/her own interest.
从来没有人给我评过分,我也不知道自己的水平到底在哪,需要如何改进,希望各位能帮我改一下这篇文章,顺便大概评一下分,
首先 字数不够150字噢
主题段最好是两段 你的结构有点散 再加一段总结
with his/her own interest斜杠不够formal
分数.大概5分吧 如果前两个问题改了会有很大提高的
主题段最好是两段 你的结构有点散 再加一段总结
with his/her own interest斜杠不够formal
分数.大概5分吧 如果前两个问题改了会有很大提高的