作业帮英语达人进,看下这段话有什么问题吗,语句正确吗
来源：学生作业帮 编辑：作业帮 分类：英语作业 时间：2024/07/17 06:50:55
英语达人进,看下这段话有什么问题吗,语句正确吗
Quality first,customer first
Our company,ChangLong Industrial Co.,Ltd.,our company is a green Environmental protection company,with years of effort we have expanded our business scope,impressively.So far,we have good business records and good reputation among our customers.Firmly holding the business policy of clients first and service upmost,and vigorously promoting the enterprise culture of faithful cooperation and common development,our company is determined to expand more business to world market.
Our main business focuses on hand tools,garden tools,hardware,other tools.Most of them are sold in European,USA and Asian markets.We’ve succeeded in establishing trade relationship with many advanced clients in China and have introduced a lot of excellent products abroad.
Our guideline is :humanism,right persons in right positions,participate together and develop In common.Our long-term target is to build up a good name of import and export company and develop into a global ,creative and bright company.We sincerely call for friends all over the world to establish with us long-term relations to the benefit of both sides.We sincerely hope to explore cooperation opportunities with clients both at home and abroad on the basis of mutual benefit and common development.
Quality first,customer first
Our company,ChangLong Industrial Co.,Ltd.,our company is a green Environmental protection company,with years of effort we have expanded our business scope,impressively.So far,we have good business records and good reputation among our customers.Firmly holding the business policy of clients first and service upmost,and vigorously promoting the enterprise culture of faithful cooperation and common development,our company is determined to expand more business to world market.
Our main business focuses on hand tools,garden tools,hardware,other tools.Most of them are sold in European,USA and Asian markets.We’ve succeeded in establishing trade relationship with many advanced clients in China and have introduced a lot of excellent products abroad.
Our guideline is :humanism,right persons in right positions,participate together and develop In common.Our long-term target is to build up a good name of import and export company and develop into a global ,creative and bright company.We sincerely call for friends all over the world to establish with us long-term relations to the benefit of both sides.We sincerely hope to explore cooperation opportunities with clients both at home and abroad on the basis of mutual benefit and common development.
有问题呃.第一句话的“ ChangLong Industrial Co., Ltd.”相当于插入语,去掉后等于有两个our company连在一起,应该把后面的去掉.另外那个green Environmental protection我建议改成eco-friendly吧,会更简练也更地道.还有这句“with years of effort we have expanded our business scope, impressively”说真的,我完全没有看懂.我是这样理解的,“我们努力拓展事业很多年”,如果是专业,建议这样翻译"with years of effort expanding our business scope",因为你原来那句完全不对,完全看不懂.还有那个impressively想修饰什么呢?最后一段的“We sincerely call for friends all over the world to establish with us long-term relations to the benefit of both sides. ”应该改成“we sincerely call for friends all over the world to establish long-term relations with us for the benefit to both sides.”其实文中还有很多词汇需要升级的,如good最好换成excellent,outstanding,remarkable,supreme等词汇,会显得正视一点.还有最后一段两句连续用了两个sincerely会显得累赘,还有那个hope其实我觉得很不好,但一时想不起来用什么词比较好.
说真的,我没看得太认真,就认真的看了开头可最后一段,中间的主谓宾的确没错,可语句我就不确定了.至少我找的这两句问题相当大.另外词汇用的也很不正式,很多词不准确或太简单.建议你还是找专业人士重新写一份,毕竟长隆公司是想打入国际的大公司啊,如果英文翻译这样,会影响公司形象的.
我不知道楼上的为什么会说表达没什么错误,我英语水平不敢说很好但绝对不差,而且我经常看国外读物,语法也很扎实.如果我会看得非常一头雾水,我觉得就算表达没问题,这样写也肯定是句式太复杂,会让人看得有歧义,头晕吧.看得出这文章是为了招商引资的.不要用太复杂的句式,一定要简练、清晰.我想你作为投资人也不会想费神去思考对方到底在说什么吧.
好像是很Chinglish,因为最后那段话我用中午想觉得很顺口.不过我是直接看英文的,没有想那么多,我想外国人也是.大概你是拿中文稿件直接翻译的吧.有时候不要那么死板,句意差不多,能保证严谨就OK了.还是那句,找专业人士重新拟一份吧.
说真的,我没看得太认真,就认真的看了开头可最后一段,中间的主谓宾的确没错,可语句我就不确定了.至少我找的这两句问题相当大.另外词汇用的也很不正式,很多词不准确或太简单.建议你还是找专业人士重新写一份,毕竟长隆公司是想打入国际的大公司啊,如果英文翻译这样,会影响公司形象的.
我不知道楼上的为什么会说表达没什么错误,我英语水平不敢说很好但绝对不差,而且我经常看国外读物,语法也很扎实.如果我会看得非常一头雾水,我觉得就算表达没问题,这样写也肯定是句式太复杂,会让人看得有歧义,头晕吧.看得出这文章是为了招商引资的.不要用太复杂的句式,一定要简练、清晰.我想你作为投资人也不会想费神去思考对方到底在说什么吧.
好像是很Chinglish,因为最后那段话我用中午想觉得很顺口.不过我是直接看英文的,没有想那么多,我想外国人也是.大概你是拿中文稿件直接翻译的吧.有时候不要那么死板,句意差不多,能保证严谨就OK了.还是那句,找专业人士重新拟一份吧.