英语作文小弟英语菜的很,写篇作文,应该有很多低级错误,My school lifeWell,as we enter th

英语作文
小弟英语菜的很,写篇作文,应该有很多低级错误,
My school life
Well,as we enter the college a year ,there are a lot of things happened,like the title said.Indeed,there are many things give me a deep impression in the past school life.But,the thing which give me the most impression is that the girl who my I love.
Natural,in an admirer’s sight,she is the best.I totally fascinated by her .She’s beautiful ,smart,lovely.Actually,all the good characters I could think she all have.Except she don’t love me ,that’s really sad.I can remember the day I told I love her,it is by my mobile phone.Unfortunately,there no response .I know she don’t love me,I even appreciate she don’t refuse me immediately.But I’m not so lucky in the next few days,like your thought,she refused me.I’m fell so sad,no words can express my felling.I remembered a sentence,may be she don’t know,” to the world,you may be one person,but to one person,you may be the world ”the first one person is she,the next is me,what a tragedy.But I can’t give up.I want to study hard to prove myself .like the hero in the first article in our book,just hope not unfortunately like him at last.

这是信,还是作文啊……I m confused.
我一句一句来给你分析……希望你不嫌我罗嗦.
-------------------------------------------------------------
My school life
（如果题目是既定的,就算了；如果是自己命题,最好改一下,是什么样的life?interesting?happy?boring?）
Well,as we enter the college a year ,there are a lot of things happened,like the title said.
(1.这是作文,不是口头……不用一上来就well了.
(2.like the title said.第一年进大学,很多事情发生,如题所说.最后这个“如题所说”是多余的)
修改：The first year of the college has passed.There are a lot of things happened.
Indeed,there are many things give me a deep impression in the past school life.But,the thing which give me the most impression is that the girl who my I love.
(1.中国学生最喜欢用的几个词：Indeed,I think,actually…之类的少用.)
(2.适当可简练一点.尤其是第一句话）
修改：Many of them are impressive.But among them,the most impressive should be the girl that I love.
Natural,in an admirer’s sight,she is the best.I totally fascinated by her .She’s beautiful ,smart,lovely.Actually,all the good characters I could think she all have.Except she don’t love me ,that’s really sad.
第一句话想说什么呢?没看懂.反正就是有个女生美若天仙,智慧过人,但是她不喜欢你吧.
修改：In my eye,she is the best girl I have ever met and I am totally attracted.She is beautiful,smart and lovely.I believe she has all the good characters.But she doesn’t love me,which make me feel sad.
I can remember the day I told I love her,it is by my mobile phone.Unfortunately,there no response .I know she don’t love me,I even appreciate she don’t refuse me immediately.But I’m not so lucky in the next few days,like your thought,she refused me.
修改：I told her that I love her via my mobile phone.Unfortunately,she gave no response.I know she don’t love me,but thank god she didn’t refuse me immediately.Yet a few days later,as you guessed,she refused me.
I’m fell so sad,no words can express my felling.I remembered a sentence,may be she don’t know,” to the world,you may be one person,but to one person,you may be the world ”
修改：I feel so sad now and no words can fully express my feeling.I remember a sentence saying that “to the world,you may be one person,but to one person,you may be the world .”(这句话英文真的有么?还是你自己翻的?如果是你自创的,建议稍作修改：as to the world,you may just be a person; but as to a person,you may be the world.)
the first one person is she,the next is me,what a tragedy.But I can’t give up.I want to study hard to prove myself .like the hero in the first article in our book,just hope not unfortunately like him at last.
修改：大家都知道第一人是她,第二人是你……我建议不用写上去了.But I will not give up.I will study hard to improve myself like the hero in the first article in our book.Just hopefully I wont have the same unfortunate ending as he does.