主要改语法,提点建议更好

主要改语法,提点建议更好
1.Our country has a custom to reunite with families during some traditional festivals.For instance,in the past,people always tried their best to return to their hometowns to visit their parents and other relatives during the mid-autumn festival,one of the most crucial festivals in our country.They would have a big meal together at the mid-autumn night.(They would turn on the TV to watch the mid-autumn gala together.)During the meal,they could have some talks,recalling their past memories with each other,which is beneficial to establish a harmonious family relationship.However,this tradition has seem to be forgotten recently.
2.When you enter a bookstore,you will find all books classified by their titles into different categories.If you want to check out a book about the second world war,you just need to search for the ”history” segment in the bookshop.It is quite convenient for us to get a book that we want within a short time.
3.Girls gossip about their favorite movie stars; boys talk about the last night’s football game; office workers exchange their ideas about current stock market with each other.All those information people want can be obtained from relative TV programs.
4.There is a growing awareness that more and more mammonists can be observed in society.The relationship between people will never be replaced by the satisfaction of possessing a huge number of money.
5.The invention of lamp has made it possible to work at night; the prevalence of cell phone has made it a easy thing for people to communicate with their families and friends; the innovation of Internet has made the world a little village to live in.
6.For instance,“Symphony No.5”,Beethoven’s masterpiece,described a strong will which is struggling with the realistic fate; “The Blue Danube”,a famous waltz,depicted a spectacular landscape of the Danube river; “The Butterfly Lovers”,a prevailing Chinese melody,told us a beautiful story about love.It is quite beneficial to appreciate these different art works,especially when we understand the philosophies behind them.Music teaches us how to find the beauty of life.

1.Our country has a custom to reunite with families during some traditional festivals.For instance,in the past,people always tried their best to return to their hometowns to visit their parents and other relatives during the mid-autumn festival,one of the most crucial festivals in our country.They would have a big meal together at the mid-autumn night.(They would turn on the TV to watch the mid-autumn gala together.)During the meal,they could have some talks,recalling their past memories with each other,which is beneficial to establish a harmonious family relationship.However,this tradition has seem to be forgotten recently.（改为 this tradition seems to be forgotten recently）
这段最好将如此多的主动句部分换成被动句.
3.Girls gossip about their favorite movie stars; boys talk about the last night’s football game; office workers exchange their ideas about current stock market with each other.All those（改为the或that,不可数） information people want can be obtained from relative（最好改为relevant） TV programs.
英语里面主语一般为重点,为对应最后一句,最好前三句改为以不同Information为主语的句子.
4.There is a growing awareness that more and more mammonists can be observed in society.The relationship between people will never be replaced by the satisfaction of possessing a huge number of money.
最后一句可以用倒装
Uner no circumstance/Never will the satisfaction of possessing a huge quantity of cash be substitute for the relationship between people.
5.The invention of lamp has made it possible to work at night; the prevalence of cell phone has made it a easy thing for people to communicate with their families and friends; the innovation of Internet has made the world a little village to live in.
可以采用强调句式.
例如It is the invention of lamp that has made it possible for citizens to work at night
其他写得不错,有特别想润色的句子可追问.