作业帮英语经典笑话不要太长,有关动物的.
来源：学生作业帮 编辑：作业帮 分类：英语作业 时间：2024/07/14 01:51:10
英语经典笑话
不要太长,有关动物的.
不要太长,有关动物的.
An artist asked the gallery owner if there had been any interest in his paintings currently on display. "I've got good news and bad news," the owner replied. "The good news is that a gentleman inquired about your work and wondered if it would appreciate in value after your death. When I told him it would, he bought all fifteen of your paintings."
"That's wonderful!" the artist exclaimed, "What's the bad news?". With concern, the gallery owner replied, "The guy was your doctor
一名艺术家问画廊老板,最近有没有人对他展出的画感兴趣.“这有好消息和坏消息,”老板回答.“好消息是有一位先生咨询你的作品,他想知道在你死后你的画会不会升值.我告诉他你的画会升值,他就把你的15幅画全都买走了.”
“真是太好了”,艺术家是喜形于色,“那坏消息是什么?”带着关心的口吻,画廊老板回答,“买画的人是你的医生”.
The New Teacher
George comes from school on the first of September.
"George, how did you like your new teacher?" asked his mother.
"I didn't like her, Mother, because she said that three and three were six and then she said that two and four were six too."
新老师
9月1日, 乔治放学回到家里.
"乔治,你喜欢你们的新老师吗?" 妈妈问.
"妈妈,我不喜欢,因为她说3加3得6, 可后来又说2加4也得6."
Two Birds
Teacher: Here are two birds, one is a swallow, the other is sparrow. Now who can tell us which is which?
Student: I cannot point out but I know the answer.
Teacher: Please tell us.
Student: The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow.
两只鸟
老师： 这儿有两只鸟,一只是麻雀.谁能指出哪只是燕子,哪只是麻雀吗?
学生：我指不出,但我知道答案.
老师：请说说看.
学生：燕子旁边的就是麻雀,麻雀旁边的就是燕子.
Excuse for Speeding
Excuse for Speeding
Harry and Lloyd were speeding down the road. A police car pulled them over.
〃Why on earth were you driving so fast?〃 the policeman yelled.
〃Our brakes are no good-so we wanted to get there before we had an accident!〃
超速的理由
哈里与劳埃德超速行驶,一辆警车拦住了他们.
“你们为什么开那么快?”警官喊道.
“我们的刹车不好,因此我们想在发生事故前赶紧到达目的地.”
Send the Bill to My Father
Doctor： 〃I can do nothing for your complaint. It is hereditary.〃
Patient： 〃then send the bill to my father,please.〃
把账单给我父亲
医生：“对你的抱怨我无能为力.那是遗传病.”
病人：“那请你把账单给我父亲吧.”
One girl went to the preacher and confessed her sin.
Girl: Father, I have sinned.
Preacher: What did you do, little girl?
Girl: Yesterday, I called a man a son of a Bitch.
Preacher: Why? What did he do to you?
Girl: He touched my breast.
Preacher: You mean like this? (The guy did it.)
Girl: (A little shy from the touch) Yes.
Preacher: That's no reason to call him that.
Girl: But he also took off my cloth.
Preacher: You mean like this? (He did it again.)
Girl: Yes, that's what he did.
Preacher: That's still no reason to call him that.
Girl: And he put his you-know-what into my you-know-what...
Preacher: (evil laugh...) You mean like this? (And you-know-what)
Girl: (After a few minutes...) Ugh... Yeah, that's what he did...
Preacher: My dear girl, that's still no reason to call him a...
Girl: But he had AIDS!
Preacher: THAT SON OF A BITCH
小建议：
英语笑话通常都是很短的,要是长了就达不到效果了.越是经典的就越短.老外的幽默和我们的不一样的.十句以上都可以算作阅读段了,怎么表演啊,听众本来听英语就费劲,句子又多又长,肯定没兴趣了,还是找些短的来表演吧,BODY LANGUAGE 到位,EXPRESSION 到位就OK了. 但是有关动物的确实找不到了,对不起.
"That's wonderful!" the artist exclaimed, "What's the bad news?". With concern, the gallery owner replied, "The guy was your doctor
一名艺术家问画廊老板,最近有没有人对他展出的画感兴趣.“这有好消息和坏消息,”老板回答.“好消息是有一位先生咨询你的作品,他想知道在你死后你的画会不会升值.我告诉他你的画会升值,他就把你的15幅画全都买走了.”
“真是太好了”,艺术家是喜形于色,“那坏消息是什么?”带着关心的口吻,画廊老板回答,“买画的人是你的医生”.
The New Teacher
George comes from school on the first of September.
"George, how did you like your new teacher?" asked his mother.
"I didn't like her, Mother, because she said that three and three were six and then she said that two and four were six too."
新老师
9月1日, 乔治放学回到家里.
"乔治,你喜欢你们的新老师吗?" 妈妈问.
"妈妈,我不喜欢,因为她说3加3得6, 可后来又说2加4也得6."
Two Birds
Teacher: Here are two birds, one is a swallow, the other is sparrow. Now who can tell us which is which?
Student: I cannot point out but I know the answer.
Teacher: Please tell us.
Student: The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow.
两只鸟
老师： 这儿有两只鸟,一只是麻雀.谁能指出哪只是燕子,哪只是麻雀吗?
学生：我指不出,但我知道答案.
老师：请说说看.
学生：燕子旁边的就是麻雀,麻雀旁边的就是燕子.
Excuse for Speeding
Excuse for Speeding
Harry and Lloyd were speeding down the road. A police car pulled them over.
〃Why on earth were you driving so fast?〃 the policeman yelled.
〃Our brakes are no good-so we wanted to get there before we had an accident!〃
超速的理由
哈里与劳埃德超速行驶,一辆警车拦住了他们.
“你们为什么开那么快?”警官喊道.
“我们的刹车不好,因此我们想在发生事故前赶紧到达目的地.”
Send the Bill to My Father
Doctor： 〃I can do nothing for your complaint. It is hereditary.〃
Patient： 〃then send the bill to my father,please.〃
把账单给我父亲
医生：“对你的抱怨我无能为力.那是遗传病.”
病人：“那请你把账单给我父亲吧.”
One girl went to the preacher and confessed her sin.
Girl: Father, I have sinned.
Preacher: What did you do, little girl?
Girl: Yesterday, I called a man a son of a Bitch.
Preacher: Why? What did he do to you?
Girl: He touched my breast.
Preacher: You mean like this? (The guy did it.)
Girl: (A little shy from the touch) Yes.
Preacher: That's no reason to call him that.
Girl: But he also took off my cloth.
Preacher: You mean like this? (He did it again.)
Girl: Yes, that's what he did.
Preacher: That's still no reason to call him that.
Girl: And he put his you-know-what into my you-know-what...
Preacher: (evil laugh...) You mean like this? (And you-know-what)
Girl: (After a few minutes...) Ugh... Yeah, that's what he did...
Preacher: My dear girl, that's still no reason to call him a...
Girl: But he had AIDS!
Preacher: THAT SON OF A BITCH
小建议：
英语笑话通常都是很短的,要是长了就达不到效果了.越是经典的就越短.老外的幽默和我们的不一样的.十句以上都可以算作阅读段了,怎么表演啊,听众本来听英语就费劲,句子又多又长,肯定没兴趣了,还是找些短的来表演吧,BODY LANGUAGE 到位,EXPRESSION 到位就OK了. 但是有关动物的确实找不到了,对不起.