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Reader's Digest March 2013 20页一段话的翻译 很恼火 求真大神进!

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Reader's Digest March 2013 20页一段话的翻译 很恼火 求真大神进!
The reader, an accountant from Malaysia, was present at a meeting of members of the Meeja - an international group of information dealers obsessed with shining the Bright Light of Truth and Justice into dark areas, preferably if celebrity cleavage is located therein.
At the time, a rainstorm had caused an ancient tower in China to tilt perilously over a school. Should the Meeja send staff to cover the story? After a lengthy period of thoughtful consideration lasting almost two seconds, the idea was rejected. " I assume the story lacked a cleavage angle," the reader said. Meeja outlets went for the easy option, printing a brief news item and a tiny picture of the Leaning Tower of Pisa, thus leaving lots of room for earth-shaking announcements such as:"[ Celebrity Name] Stuns Beachgoers By Regaining Pre-Baby Bikini Bod", a dramatic follow-up to last week's mega-scoop, which was "[ Celebrity Name] Stuns Beachgoers By Failing to Regain Pre-Baby Bikini Bod."
只用从第二段有引号说话的地方开始翻译(就是 I assume那里)到最后.不胜感激!
“我认为这故事缺乏深度,”该读者如是说道.Meeja的小道消息以简单标题的形式在报刊上出现,还配有一张萨斜塔的小图,于是猜测有了发挥的空间,诸如这种“[ 某名人 ] 在沙滩重获前任比基尼宝贝芳心雷到众人”的惊人消息.上周这条雷人的消息又有了一百八十度的下文,“[ 某名人] 在沙滩再失前任比基尼宝贝芳心雷到众人.”
(我不确定:Pre-Baby Bikini Bod的意思)