求英语小短文!求一篇英语小短文,要求是初二水平能理解的,最好是一些有趣的事或小笑话!不能太长!(用做课前演说的!)

求英语小短文!
求一篇英语小短文,要求是初二水平能理解的,最好是一些有趣的事或小笑话!不能太长!(用做课前演说的!)

My Wife Will Exchange Them Tomorrow
A gentleman walks into a store and asked for a pair of gloves.
"Cloth of leather?" asked the salesperson.
"Makes no difference,"replied customer.
"What color?" asked the clerk.
"Any," he responded.
"Size?"
"Give me whatever you prefer," the gentleman said,slightly exasperated."My wife will be back tomorrow to exchange them."
反正我太太明天会来换的
一位先生走进一家商店要买付手套.
“您是要布的还是皮的?”售货员问.
“没什么区别.”这位顾客回答.
“那您要什么颜色的呢?”售货员又问.
“什么颜色都成.”他回答.
“号码呢?”
“您就随便给我拿一付吧,”这位顾客有点不耐烦了,“反正我 太太明天都会来换的.”
good news and bad news
The soldiers had been marching and fighting,they were dirty,hot andtired.One day,the general announced:"My men,I have some good newsand some bad news for you.Which one would you like first?"
"The good news!" they all shouted.
"OK," said the General."The good news is that you will each be receivinga complete change of clothing."
"Hurrah!" chorused the soldiers.
"And now for the bad news.Jack,you will change with John.John,youwill change with Tom.Tom,you will change with Robert.Robert .
好消息和坏消息
士兵们连续的行军,作战,他们又累又热又脏.一天,将军宣布：“士兵们,我有一些好消息和坏消息要告诉你们.你们愿意先听哪个呢?”
“好消息!”他们嚷道.
“好吧,”将军说,“好消息就是你们每个人都可以彻底的换一身衣服.”
“乌拉!”士兵们高兴地大叫起来.
“现在呢,该是坏消息了.杰克,你将和约翰换衣服,约翰,你和汤姆换,汤姆,你和罗伯特换,罗伯特……”
Wings
The fried-chicken restaurant where I was working had a big rush just before closing one day,leaving us with nothing to sell but wings.As I was about to lock the doors,a quietly intoxicated customer came in and ordered dinner.When I asked if wings would be all right,he leaned over the counter and replied,"Lady,I came in here to eat,not fly."
翅 膀
一天,我工作的炸鸡店在关门前出现了一阵抢购狂潮,结果除了鸡翅外所有的东西都卖完了.当我正准备锁门时,一名喝醉了的旅客进来要进餐.我问他翅膀行不行,他从柜台上靠过身子来,回答道：“女士,我到这儿来是吃东西的,不是要飞!”
Mum:Mary,you must take off your beautiful sweater when you sleep.
Mary:I don't want to take it off.
Mum:Why?
Mary:Why doesn't the rooster take off its beautiful coat when it sleeps?
妈妈：玛丽,你睡觉时,一定要把漂亮的毛衣脱下来.
玛丽：我不想脱.
妈妈：为什么呢?
玛丽：大公鸡睡觉时,怎么不脱下它漂亮的外衣呢?
Two Hearts Beating
Nurse:How do you feel after your operation?
Patient:Quite al-right,only I can feel two hearts beating inside me.
Nurse:No wonder.The doctor who operated on you was looking for his watch everywhere just now.
两颗心脏在跳动
护士：手术后你感觉怎么样?
病人：很好,只是我感觉到在我体内有两颗心脏在跳动.
护士：怪不得给你做手术的大夫刚才在到处找他的手表.
Too Polite
A woman who frequented a small antique shop rarely purchase anything,but always found fault with the merchandise and prices.The manager and her salesclerk took the woman's grumpy complaints in stride,but one day she went too far."Why is it I never manage to get what I ask for in your shop?" demanded the woman.
A smile on her face,the clerk calmly replied,"Perhaps it's because we're too polite."
太有礼貌
一名妇女经常光顾一家小古董店,但几乎从不买什么东西,却总是对商品和价格吹毛求疵.对于那妇女的粗暴抱怨,经理和她的销售员总是应付了事,但是有一天她做得太过分了.“为什么你们店里总是不能得到我想要的东西?”那名妇女指责说.
职员脸上带着微笑,沉着地回答道：“也许是因为我们太有礼貌了.”