谁有2008年12月份四级快速阅读That’s enough,kids这篇文章的全文翻译

谁有2008年12月份四级快速阅读That’s enough,kids这篇文章的全文翻译

That’s enough, kids
It was a lovely day at the park and Stella Bianchi was enjoying the sunshine with her two children when a young boy, aged about four, approached her two-year-old son and pushed him to the ground.
“I’d watched him for a little while and my son was the fourth or fifth child he’d shoved,” she says.” I went over to them, picked up my son, turned to the boy and said, firmly, ’No, we don’t push,” What happened next was unexpected.
“The boy’s mother ran toward me from across the park,” Stella says,” I thought she was coming over to apologize, but instead she started shouting at me for disciplining her child, All I did was let him know his behavior was unacceptable. Was I supposed to sit back while her kid did whatever he wanted, hurting other children in the process?”
Getting your own children to play nice is difficult enough. Dealing with other people’s children has become a minefield.
In my house, jumping on the sofa is not allowed. In my sister’s house it’s encouraged. For her, it’s about kids being kids:”If you can’t do it at three, when can you do it?”
Each of these philosophies is valid and, it has to be said, my son loves visiting his aunt’s house. But I find myself saying “no” a lot when her kids are over at mine. That’s OK between sisters but becomes dangerous territory when you’re talking to the children of friends or acquaintances.
“Kids aren’t all raised the same,” agrees Professor Naomi White of Monash University.” But there is still an idea that they’re the property of the parent. We see our children as an extension of ourselves, so if you’re saying that my child is behaving inappropriately, then that’s somehow a criticism of me.”
In those circumstances, it’s difficult to know whether to approach the child directly or the parent first. There are two schools of thought.
“I’d go to the child first,” says Andrew Fuller, author of Tricky Kids. Usually a quiet reminder that ’we don’t do that here’ is enough. Kids nave finely tuned antennae (直觉) for how to behave in different settings.”
He points out bringing it up with the parent first may make them feel neglectful, which could cause problems. Of course, approaching the child first can bring its own headaches, too.
This is why White recommends that you approach the parents first. Raise your concerns with the parents if they’re there and ask them to deal with it,” she says.
Asked how to approach a parent in this situation, psychologist Meredith Fuller answers:”Explain your needs as well as stressing the importance of the friendship. Preface your remarks with something like: ’I know you’ll think I’m silly but in my house I don’t want…’”
When it comes to situations where you’re caring for another child, white is straightforward: “common sense must prevail. If things don’t go well, then have a chat.”
There’re a couple of new grey areas. Physical punishment, once accepted from any adult, is no longer appropriate. “A new set of considerations has come to the fore as part of the debate about how we handle children.”
For Andrew Fuller, the child-centric nature of our society has affected everyone:” The rules are different now from when today’s parents were growing up,” he says, “Adults are scared of saying: ’don’t swear’, or asking a child to stand up on a bus. They’re worried that there will be conflict if they point these things out – either from older children, or their parents.”
He sees it as a loss of the sense of common public good and public courtesy (礼貌), and says that adults suffer form it as much as child.
Meredith Fuller agrees: “A code of conduct is hard to create when you’re living in a world in which everyone is exhausted from overwork and lack of sleep, and a world in which nice people are perceived to finish last.”
“it’s about what I’m doing and what I need,” Andrew Fuller says. ”the days when a kid came home from school and said, “I got into trouble”. And dad said, ‘you probably deserved it’. Are over. Now the parents are charging up to the school to have a go at teachers.”
This jumping to our children’s defense is part of what fuels the “walking on eggshells” feeling that surrounds our dealings with other people’s children. You know that if you remonstrate(劝诫) with the child, you’re going to have to deal with the parent. it’s admirable to be protective of our kids, but is it good?
“Children have to learn to negotiate the world on their own, within reasonable boundaries,” White says. “I suspect that it’s only certain sectors of the population doing the running to the school –better –educated parents are probably more likely to be too involved.”
White believes our notions of a more child-centred, it’s a way of talking about treating our children like commodities(商品). We’re centred on them but in ways that reflect positively on us. We treat them as objects whose appearance and achievements are something we can be proud of, rather than serve the best interests of the children.”
One way over-worked, under-resourced parents show commitment to their children is to leap to their defence. Back at the park, Bianchi’s intervention(干预) on her son’s behalf ended in an undignified exchange of insulting words with the other boy’s mother.
As Bianchi approached the park bench where she’d been sitting, other mums came up to her and congratulated her on taking a stand. “Apparently the boy had a longstanding reputation for bad behaviour and his mum for even worse behaviour if he was challenged.”
Andrew Fuller doesn’t believe that we should be afraid of dealing with other people’s kids. “look at kids that aren’t your own as a potential minefield,” he says. He recommends that we don’t stay silent over inappropriate behaviour, particularly with regular visitors.

那就够了,孩子
这是一个可爱的一天在公园和斯特拉比安奇享受阳光和她的2个孩子时,一个年轻的男孩,年龄四岁左右,接近她两岁的儿子,将他推到地上.
“我看了他一会儿,我的儿子是第四个或第五个孩子,他推了,”她说.”我走过去,拿起我的儿子,转身对男孩说,牢固,不,我们不推,“接下来发生了什么意外.
“男孩的母亲向我跑过公园,”斯特拉说,“我以为她是来道歉,但她却对我大喊大叫管教自己的孩子,我做的一切是为了让他知道他的行为是不可接受的.我是应该坐在她的孩子,他为所欲为,伤害其他儿童的过程中?“
让自己的孩子玩好难.处理与其他人的孩子已经成为一个雷区.
在我的房子里,跳上沙发是不允许的.在我姐姐的房子,它的鼓励.对她来说,这是对孩子的孩子：“如果你不能在三点,当你能做吗?“
所有这些理念是有效的,它必须说,我的儿子喜欢他的姑妈家.但我发现自己说“不”了很多的时候,她的孩子们是在我的.说的好姐妹之间而成为危险的领土时,你说话的朋友或熟人的孩子.
“孩子不是所有提出的一样,”内奥米教授白色莫纳什大学.”但仍有一个想法,他们的父母的财产.我们看到了我们的孩子为自己的延伸,所以如果你说我的孩子行为不当,那是在批评我.”
在这些情况下,很难知道是否接近孩子的父母第一次直接或.有两派观点.
“我要先去接孩子,说：”安得烈,作者巧妙的孩子.通常是一个安静的提醒,我们不做,这就足够了.孩子天真的微调天线（直觉）如何表现在不同的设置.”
他指出,使其与母公司首先会让他们觉得疏忽,可能会引起问题.当然,接近孩子第一次可以带自己的头痛,太.
这就是为什么白色建议你父母首先.提高您的关注与父母如果他们,要求他们解决它,”她说.
问如何处理父母在这种情况下,心理学家梅瑞狄斯答道：“说明你的需要以及强调友谊的重要性.序言的评论是：“我知道你会觉得我很傻,但我的房子,我不想……”
当它来的情况下,你要照顾一个孩子,白色是直截了当：“必须占上风.如果事情不顺利,有一个聊天.”
有几个新的灰色地带.体罚,一旦接受任何成人,不再是合适的.“一套新的考虑,已脱颖而出成为辩论的一部分,关于我们如何处理儿童.”
为安得烈的儿童为中心的性质,我们的社会影响了每个人：“规则是不同的,从当今天的父母的成长,”他说,“人是害怕说：“不要发誓',或让孩子站在公交车上.他们担心会有冲突,如果他们点出这些东西–无论从年龄较大的儿童,或他们的父母.”
他认为这是一个失去了意义上的共同的公益性和公共礼仪（礼貌）,并说,成年人患为孩子.
梅瑞狄斯认为：“行为守则很难创造当你生活在一个世界中,每个人都是劳累过度、睡眠不足,和一个世界中,好人难出头.”
“这是我在做什么,我需要什么,”安得烈说.“当一个孩子从学校回来说,“我有麻烦了”.和爸爸说,“你大概是罪有应得.结束了.现在父母充电到学校去的有教师.”
这一跳到孩子们的防御是什么的一部分燃料“如履薄冰”的感觉围绕着我们与其他人的孩子.你知道,如果你反对（劝诫）的孩子,你将不得不应对的母公司.它的令人钦佩的是保护我们的孩子,但它好吗?
“孩子们必须学会谈判的世界在他们自己的,在合理的界限,“白说.“我怀疑这只是一部分的人会为学校的运作––更好教育的父母可能会参与.”
白相信我们的观念,更以孩子为中心,这是一个说话的方式对待我们的孩子喜欢的商品（商品）.我们集中在他们的方式,积极反映我们.我们把他们当作物体的外观和成就是我们可以引以自豪的事,而不是为孩子们的最佳利益.”