04 As is vividly demonstrated in the picture above,a man is

04 As is vividly demonstrated in the picture above,a man is running toward the end of a race
英语作文,帮我看看有没有语法错误和用词不当的,以及怎样修改,我对你的感激如同滔滔江水,绵绵不绝……
As is vividly demonstrated in the picture above,a man is running toward the end of a race,sweating all over.However,the line is both the terminal point of one race and the starting point of another one.What is reflected in the picture is most thought-provoking and worth discussing among the students for the time being.
The main purpose of the painter can be interpreted in terms of the end is a new start.To begin with,success treads upon the heels of effort and perseverance.With the development of society and economy,the pressure and stress of competition between us become more and more fierce.An increasing number of people are beginning to realize that struggle is going with your whole life.Meanwhile,if one is obsessed with the success he has achieved,he would lose the chance to pursue new success.What’s more,the progress of the society is based on all people unceasing effort.Take the famous scientist Thomas Edison for example.He had done very well in his early life,but continued to pursue something more difficult all through his life.His inventions promote the development of human society.
In short,life is just like an endless race.If we don’t prepare for new races,we are either disqualified from the race or surpassed by other.Anyone,no matter how high achievements he has once made,will fall behind if he stops his efforts.Accordingly,we should spare no effort to improve ourselves so as to achieve success one after another.Continuing to make progress and taking one ending point as another new starting point should be everyone’s attitude towards life.Only in this way can we achieve success in the competitive world.

第一句中,toward应该是towards
第二段第六句中people应该是people's
可以写为
What's more,the progress of the society is based on everybody's/everyone's unceasing effort.
其它很好